What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
by JoChryedLover
Summary: Syed is in an abusive relationship that he's struggling to find a way out of. Can the arrival of a stranger give him the strength to save himself?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)  
><strong>

**Rating: M (for violence and possible sex scenes later on)**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Christian or Syed. All recognisable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC. **

**OK, _please_ don't hate me for doing this to Syed! The idea just came to me and I thought I'd try it out. I don't know if anyone's tried this before, but let's just see where my mind takes me...**

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><p>Syed Masood was a confident business man, a successful, top estate agent, in a wondeful, committed relationship with another gay Muslim man. His life was perfect. He had the big house, the flash cars, went all around the world on expensive, five star holidays. His life was absolutely perfect. On the outside. On the inside, Syed was a shell of the man he used to be. The physical scars and bruises would fade, but it was the mental scars which would stay with him until the end of time. Usually, the bruises were easy to hide; his blows being dealt mostly to his body rather than his face, but this time, there was one perfectly formed black eye starting to ghost on his face. That would be harder to hide. There was only so many times the excuse 'walked into a door' could be used and could still be believed. He had thought about going to see the Imam, but their relationship was still strained ever since he had come out all those years ago. His family were still a no-go, although Tamwar was just starting to come around to the idea of his big brother being gay. This would probably do nothing more than scare him off again. His workmates were also just that; workmates. People who couldn't care less about him when he wasn't in his place of work, his personal life was nothing to them. No, it was less than nothing. It just never came up. So Syed had no choice other than to put on his mask for the outside world and pretend that he couldn't be happier. He'd have to go into work and make up some excuse for his injuries and put on his best smile and continue as normal.<p>

When Syed had first come out as gay, his parents and siblings had shunned him. Where he had once been the 'golden boy', the one they thought would go on to achieve great things, he was now an outcast. His parents would cross the street rather than acknowledge his presence in public, and the people in his community he had once considered his friends now shunned him at Mosque. It would have all been easier to pretend, of course. To live a lie like everyone wanted him to, to pretend that he was straight. To get married, have children, take over the family business. That was the proper thing to do. But it wasn't the right thing to do. He'd tried to live a lie, and it hadn't worked. He'd had one night stands, allowed himself to be taken home by drunk men who knew no better, just to get a release, but he'd been kidding himself. He couldn't pretend anymore, even if it meant that his family, his community and even Allah himself were going to disown him.

He'd met Kaden shortly after coming out, and was comforted to know that he'd gone through the exact same things as he was going through, but that he had won back the love of his family, and even some members of his community, given a little time. It had given Syed hope that, with Kaden's help, he was going to be able to do the same. And so he had jumped in feet first, not really even sure if the attraction was physical, or if he was just looking for companionship, no matter who it came from. Even Kaden's name itself was promising; with the meaning of 'friend, companion, confidant', Syed was sure that this was a sign from Allah that it was OK to be gay; that this person who had come into his life was going to show him the way back to his family and back to his community. Even though Kaden was a more relaxed Muslim, who drank and rarely observed, he was sure that this was going to work. He was going to _make_ it work.

Syed had been with Kaden for a year the first time he'd hit him. Kaden had been out drinking with his friends and Syed had been sleeping when Kaden had returned home. Kaden had woken him, demanding sex from Syed in the early hours of the morning. When Syed had refused him and attempted to sleep again, Kaden had hit him in the stomach. He had immediately apologised, and had begged Syed to forgive him, saying that he was drunk and that he hadn't meant anything my it. Syed's first instinct had been to flee, to tell Kaden that it was over, and to tell him to get the hell out of his house. But the softer side of Syed's nature had prevailed, and he had forgiven him, accepting his excuses and believing him when he said that it would never happen again. Plus, Kaden was the only person from his whole community who had accepted him as he was, no questions asked. He was the only person he'd met who'd gone through the same things that he had. He was the only person in the whole world who understood him, who ever would understand him. And so, against his better judgement, he stayed.

But it had happened again a few weeks ago. They had been out to celebrate their two year anniversary, and Kaden had been drinking again. Syed had said something insignificant to him as a small joke, but Kaden had taken it the wrong way and Syed had once again been on the receiving end of his punches. Almost every night ever since, Kaden had come home drunk and had started beating him. At first, it was only the odd slap or punch, but he'd been getting more violent as the weeks had passed. Syed didn't know what to do, he knew that there wasn't anywhere else he could turn to; his family and community would reject him before he even told them anything, and if he changed the locks, he knew that Kaden would just break his way into the house and would punish him even worse for trying to leave him. Syed was stuck in a rut, and he didn't know how he was going to get out of this alive. He had thought about running, but this was his house, and even if he did leave, he knew that Kaden would track him down eventually, and he couldn't go back to a life where he was looking over his shoulder every day, scared of what was about to catch up with him.

Syed looked into the mirror in the hallway, strategically placing his hair so that it covered the majority of his bruises. A lone tear fell down his cheek as he closed the front door behind him and made his way into work, fixing his mask firmly into place.

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><p><strong>Hope this wasn't too horrible! <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)  
><strong>

**Rating: M (for violence and possible sex scenes later on)**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Christian or Syed. All recognisable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC. **

**Sorry it's took me ages to update! I've had a lot going on in RL at the moment, so it's been hard to find time to update! Hope this chapters OK! **

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><p>"Syed Masood?" a voice filtered through Syed's consciousness, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to reality. He realised he had been staring at his computer screen for the last three quarters of an hour and had not completed a bit of the work he'd set down to do. He raised his eyes from the screen to look for the owner of the voice; he found a tall, broad man standing before him. A beautiful man. He mentally shook himself, switching back to his serious, work mode.<p>

"Sorry, yes, that's me," he held out his hand to shake the stranger's hand and risked a glance to his monitor, thankfully seeing his diary displayed on the screen. "And you must be Mr Clarke, I presume?" Syed had completely forgotten that he had a meeting with a potential new client, and was finding it harder and harder to concentrate on his work. Kaden had beat him again last night, and he had turned in late for work for the first time in 10 years. Syed gestured to the seat opposite, and opened up his client's file on his screen. "So, Mr Clarke, looking at your file, it seems you wish to acquire some land on which you can obtain planning permission to build your own home, is that correct?"

"Christian, please," Christian flashed Syed a warm smile, their eyes meeting briefly before he continued. "But yes, that is correct. I've been looking for a new home for a while now, but I have the image of the perfect home in my mind, and I haven't been able to find anything which I'd be able to easily convert the way I'd like."

"Must be something special, for you to be finding it difficult to find somewhere," Syed couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over Christian's toned body. He clearly took care of himself, and was obviously proud of his rippling muscles, on full display thanks to the vest he was wearing. There was a trace of an accent in his voice, and Syed suspected that he wasn't usually this well spoken.

"I'm a perfectionist, what can I say?" Christian's laugh was deep and booming, and seemed to resonate through Syed, raising the hairs on the back of his neck. "No, I just know what I want, and I don't want to have to settle for anything less." Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Syed felt a jolt of electricity run through his body. It almost knocked the breath right out of him, and he had to fight to keep himself in the right frame of mind. He wondered if Christian had felt it too, before reminding himself that he was in a (albeit one-sided) committed relationship, and was forced to swallow down the guilt which threatened to overwhelm him. He cleared his throat and shuffled the papers in front of him nervously.

"So, Mr - Christian - how many acres roughly are you looking to purchase? I have a number of potential plots which may interest you, but it might narrow down the search if I can have a few more details."

The two spent around an hour discussing the finer details of Christian's wants and needs, and Syed handed him a list of available plots of land which met all of the criteria they had discussed. Throughout the hour, Syed could barely keep his eyes off Christian, his eyes flashing to his perfectly toned abs one too many times. He didn't know what it was about Christian that was drawing him in so much; maybe it was because he possessed such strength when Syed himself was feeling so weak, maybe it was purely a sexual thing. All Syed knew was that he was hardly going to be able to look Kaden in the eyes when he got home later on because of the guilt he knew would be shining there.

"So, just take some time to look over these files, and see of there are any plots of land you'd like to have a closer look at. You've got my card, just call me anytime you'd like to arrange a viewing. I can try to organise an evening viewing if that's easier to fit around your schedule." Syed stood to show Christian out, feeling the older man's presence as he stood. The men shook hands, and Syed held in a gasp as the electric jolt from earlier returned in full force. As Christian left, Syed leant back against the closed door and took a few deep breaths to get himself back under control.

Opening his eyes, Syed was sure of three things. One, that he couldn't wait to see Christian again. Two, that the was going to be eating him up inside as long as he kept meeting Christian when he was still in a relationship with Kaden. Three, he desperately wanted to get to know Christian better. A lot better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)  
><strong>

**Rating: M (for violence and possible sex scenes later on)**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Christian or Syed. All recognisable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

**I know, I've been pretty much AWOL over the last few months. Please, forgive me, as I've had some complicated stuff to deal with over the last few months (in fact I'm still dealing with some of the stuff, but I'm slowly getting there!) I hope all you amazing guys are still with me, after all this time being away!**

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><p>As Syed arrived home, closing the door behind him, he was greeted with a fresh wave of guilt. Despite everything Kaden had done to him in the last few weeks, they were still a couple, and here Syed was, lusting after a man he'd only known - in a professional context, too - for a few short hours. Unbidden, images of Christian's rippling physique returned to Syed's mind, and he shook his head desperately, trying to clear the fog which had descended on him. Kaden wasn't home yet, and for that, Syed was truly grateful. Pressing the play button on his answering machine, Syed listened absent-mindedly to his messages. One from his boss, telling him that he'd be returning from his exotic holiday a little later than planned, and that Syed would have to hold the fort for another couple of days. A second, from Tamwar, a strained and clearly nervous message asking how Syed was, and that maybe they should catch up sometime. Syed smiled to himself. It was just like Tamwar to call when he knew Syed would be at work, therefore getting out of any immediate meeting; he knew that Syed was really bad at remembering to call people back. The third message was from Kaden. Syed unconsciously shuddered at the sound of his voice. Kaden was going to be home late again. He was going for a few drinks with some people from work. Syed shuddered at the thought of Kaden coming home drunk again. He could always stay at a hotel, and distance himself from Kaden and his fists, but Syed knew that it would only be worse for him in the long run; he'd have to see him again at some point. Either that, or go back to a life of looking over his shoulder.<p>

Syed made his way into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He wished that he had Christian's strength. Just picturing those strong muscles - what Syed would be able to do if he had that physique. He'd certainly be able to give Kaden a run for his money. But Syed had tried - and failed - to build up his strength before, and he didn't know if he had it in him to lash out at another human being; even a sadistic one like Kaden.

Syed was slowly starting to realise the truth about him now. Kaden was the sick one, not Syed. He had done nothing to deserve what Kaden was doing to him night after night. He understood that now. At first, he had truly believed that he deserved the terrible things that Kaden was doing to him; that this was Allah's punishment for abandoning his family. But now, he knew that it was just the way Kaden was. Kaden _wanted_ to be in control. He _wanted _Syed to fear him. It was how he got his kicks. In anger, Syed threw his glass against the opposite wall. The tears came unbidden to his eyes as he collapsed to the floor, finally letting his misery take hold of him. He knew that he should go to the police, but what would they do? He'd seen it a hundred times before on the news; men and women both going to the police to report domestic abuse and getting turned away. Just another number on a file. The police couldn't help him. He was on his own.

c~s

Syed didn't know how long he sat on the floor of his kitchen. The world turned dark around him, but he couldn't bring himself to turn on the light. His life was devoid of light now, so what was the point? His thoughts kept whirling around in his head; what he could do to Kaden if he were stronger, how none of this would have happened if he'd lived in the lie his family had believed for so many years, how for just one second he wished that he were brave enough to stop this from happening. Somewhere along the line, Syed wasn't entirely sure how, his thoughts had turned to Christian Clarke. The man who oozed strength. The man who was proud of who he was, no matter what anyone else said or thought. The man he _really_ wanted to -

Syed stopped his thoughts in their tracks. No. He couldn't think like that. He was in a _relationship._ It might not mean a lot to some people, but it meant everything to Syed. A small part of Syed's mind told him that he owed Kaden something. Kaden had saved him when he had needed saving. He was the only one who'd been there for him during his time of need. _Well, he's not here now, is he?_ He pushed the unbidden thought away. They were still a couple. He still _loved_ Kaden. Didn't he?

Syed sighed and forced himself to stand, turning on some lights. He needed to relax, and in order to do that, he needed a shower. He made his way upstairs, through his - their - bedroom, and into the en-suite. He ran the shower before undressing; he needed it to be steaming. As he removed his clothing, Syed winced at every movement. Last night's beating must have been worse than he'd thought. As he stepped into the shower and let the hot stream of water soothe him, Syed's thoughts wandered back to the forbidden territory of Christian. This time, he didn't stop himself as he pictured Christian's toned arms; the way he could still see his perfect abs through his vest. He wanted to feel those strong arms around him; protecting him from harm. He shook the thought away as quickly as it had come. He didn't even _know_ the man! Christian was obviously gay, and proud of it, but he was probably in a relationship; men who looked that good, gay or straight, were seldom single.

Syed jumped guiltily as a hand touched his shoulder. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't heard Kaden enter the room. He composed himself, putting his mask back on, and turned to greet him.

"You're home early!" He feigned pleasant surprise. He gave Kaden a chaste kiss and couldn't taste alcohol for a change, for which he was grateful. Kaden's beatings weren't usually as bad if he were sober.

"Well, I missed you," Kaden's eyes were dark and hooded, and Syed realised in that moment that he bore no more love for this man. "Did you miss me, Syed?" Kaden demanded. Syed met his eyes briefly before turning away and grabbing the soap.

"Of course," he lied. "I always do."

Syed began to wash himself, but Kaden took the soap from him. "Here, let me." Syed reluctantly obliged, wincing slightly from the rough touch of Kaden's hands on his sensitive skin. As the water beat down on him, washing away the soap suds, blending away his tears, Syed wondered how he'd gotten himself into this mess, and how he was ever going to get himself out of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)  
><strong>

**Rating: M (for violence and possible sex scenes later on)**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Christian or Syed. All recognisable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

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><p>Syed walked into his office feeling positively happy for the first time in a long while. He was seeing him today. Christian Clarke. He'd called last night, just before Syed was about to leave work, saying that he'd chosen one of the plots of land Syed had suggested to him. Today, Syed was taking him to see the plot of land for himself, so that he could make his final decision. Syed's stomach was twisting with anticipation. He didn't know how or why this man had this effect on him despite only meeting him once before, but it was a welcome relief from the constant anxiety and sorrow he usually felt.<p>

The night that Kaden had come home early and had washed him in the shower, Syed had known that he had no affection left for him. But then, after they had showered together, Kaden had been so loving and gentle that Syed had thought it was over. They had had a lovely weekend together, and had talked and laughed and loved like they hadn't done for a long time. But, come Sunday night, Kaden was back to his old ways, and Syed had been on the receiving end of Kaden's punches once again.

Still, despite the fact that he had a rather prominent black eye which couldn't be missed, Syed finally had something to look forward to. Of course, he was still wracked with guilt over the fact that he was strangely attracted to this mysterious stranger. But just being in his presence again would be enough to make him feel strong, Syed just knew it.

After retrieving the paperwork he needed from the office, Syed headed out to the plot; a space which seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, but was actually not to far from the city. As he heard the car pull up behind him, Syed checked his hair in the rearview mirror, despite the fact that it wouldn't stay down, and tried his best to ignore the bruise over his eye, rehearsing the lie he'd been telling all day. _I got mugged on the way home from work one day._ It seemed to have worked with his workmates; or they just didn't care enough to question him, he wasn't sure which. Getting out of the car, he smiled the first genuine smile he'd smiled in days, and walked towards Christian.

"So pleased that we found something suitable for your needs, Christian," Syed was saying as he shook his hand.

"Me too," Christian's eyes narrowed as he spotted the bruise on Syed's eye. He reached up to touch his eye lightly, and Syed felt that same electricity that he'd felt on their first meeting. "What happened here?"

Syed met Christian's eyes, and his mind was screaming at him to tell Christian the truth, but he shoved those thoughts aside and stuck to the lie he was so used to telling, that he was beginning to believe it himself. Almost. "Oh, I, er, I got mugged on the way home from work," Syed shrugged his shoulders as though it was nothing, but he could tell from the way Christian's eyes narrowed further that he didn't quite believe him. "Shall we?"

They spent the next hour going over the plans, what could and couldn't be done to the land, what Christian would need permission to do, how he would go about applying for planning permission, and the like. How he managed to maintain a professional guise, Syed never knew. Somewhere along the way, talk somehow turned to their personal lives, and Syed smiled and told Christian all about Kaden; about how he had been in the beginning of their relationship. He acted the perfect lovestuck young man, even though it pained him to do so.

"You know, I run my own gym," Christian told him. "And I teach a self defense class every Wednesday; maybe you should consider it, in case you get mugged again."

"Oh, I don't know," Syed hadn't expected Christian to bring up his 'mugging' again, least of all offer to help him. "I mean, I've tried to build myself up before, but I never quite managed it."

"I wasn't talking about your muscles, or lack of," Christian grinned at him. "With self defense, it's all about the technique. Someone of your build could quite easily take out someone of my build, given the right technique." Syed must have looked doubtful, as Christian continued. "If Wednesday's aren't suitable, I could always arrange a private session at a more convenient time, first one on the house, of course, as a thank you for this." Christian gestured around them at the open space.

"So, you're going to take the land?" Syed asked, more to get them back onto a safer topic than anything else.

"Yeah, it seems like it'll do nicely. Not too far from the city, but far enough away that I can see the stars at night."

"You'll have to keep in touch, let me know how the house is coming on. I'd like to see it, once it's built."

Christian nodded, handing Syed his personal trainer card. "In case you feel like taking me up on my offer of those classes. Look, I'd better be getting on, things to do, people to phone. Thanks again for helping me find this place."

Syed shook Christian's outstretched hand and watched as he got back into his car and drove away. Part of Syed was disappointed that Christian had been able to find something so quickly, but it seemed like he had another reason to see him now. He tucked Christian's card into his pocket, part of him looking forward to a private self defense session with Christian, part of him dreading it, and the guilt which he knew would follow him afterwards.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Syed or Christian. Any recognizable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

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><p><em><strong>Wow. It's been a while. I don't know if anyone who ships Chryed is still out there, but I had the sudden urge to finish this fic. I haven't thought about Chryed in so long, so I don't know where this sudden urge has come from. But, I guess I'll just put this out there and see what happens.<strong>_

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><p>It had been three weeks since he'd seen him. Three weeks since those all-seeing eyes had looked back into his. Three weeks since he'd caught sneaky glimpses of those bulging muscles, and the strength which rippled underneath. And those three weeks had been torture. Syed jumped as one of the dishes he'd been using fell from the counter top and onto the floor with a bang, feeling his heart thumping in his chest, instinctively curling himself up into a ball and sinking to the floor. As he looked at the offending dish, and felt his breathing start to even out, his heart rate returning to normal, Syed cursed himself. Kaden wasn't even here, and he was a nervous wreck.<p>

Two weeks ago, Kaden had come home while Syed was cooking dinner. He was drunk, as usual, and had started unleashing his slaps and punches before Syed had even muttered one word from his mouth. That night was the darkest night of Syed's life. Kaden had trashed the kitchen, pots and pans flying everywhere, some of them missing Syed by centimeters. Plates had been smashed, food thrown all over the floor, bottles and jars had flown through the air and shattered against the tiled floor. And all the while, Kaden seemed almost oblivious to Syed's presence in the room. Until, that is, Syed let out an involuntary cry of pain after being hit square in the eye by a rogue kitchen utensil. Syed wasn't quite sure which one. The next thing he'd known, Kaden was turning to look at him, a look of pure hatred in his eyes. He'd grabbed Syed around the throat, tossed him onto the floor and started kicking into him, into his sides. Syed could feel the shards of glass as they dug into the front of his body, but he was powerless to stop him. It was all he could do to stop the tears from falling, not wanting to give Kaden the satisfaction, until unconsciousness had finally pulled him under.

When he'd finally come too, Kaden was gone, and Syed was still in his kitchen, still face down in the rubble. He'd gingerly made it to his feet, and had somehow managed to drag himself into his car and check himself into the hospital without killing himself. He'd refused to give them his name, refused to tell them what had happened to him, refused to let them call the police. Once he was fixed up and had his prescription, he'd discharged himself and had never looked back, taking nothing with him but his car and the clothes on his back.

Now, he was on the run, living in a grotty little flat at the other side of the city, too afraid for his life to ever return to his own home. He'd quit his job, closed his bank accounts, sold his car, had even given himself a fake name. He literally had nothing, he had no one to turn to, nowhere to go. He could barely force himself outside to perform the most menial, day to day tasks. Every little noise would make him jump. Around every corner, Kaden could be there, waiting to strike.

Syed sighed, picking himself up off the floor, all thoughts of dinner completely out of the window now. As he flopped down onto the sofa, he dug his wallet out from under him, cautiously peeking inside. There wasn't much left. If he was going to make it, he was going to have to muster up the courage to go out and find a job. He picked up the card which had fallen out of his wallet as he'd opened it, flipping it over and seeing his name. Christian Clarke. Syed closed his eyes for a moment and allowed himself to picture him. When he opened his eyes again, his determination was shining through them, and as he picked up his phone and dialed the number, his resolve had never been stronger.

He was going to make it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Syed or Christian. Any recognizable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

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><p><em><strong>Hey guys sorry I haven't updated for a while, I've just started a new job so it's taken me a while to get into a routine!<strong>_

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><p>"Again."<p>

Syed was exhausted. He'd been training with Christian for two hours now, and it wasn't getting any easier. He shook his head, walking over to the side of the hall and retrieving his bottle of water, downing almost all of it in one.

"I can't, Christian. It's too hard!" He could hear the whine in his voice, felt the blush cover his face, glad that Christian wouldn't see it; his face was red from the exertion anyway.

"You can, Sy. You need to really concentrate." Christian joined him at the side of the hall, taking his own bottle and taking a small sip. It was as though he hadn't been doing anything physical for the last few hours; his shirt was still bone dry. Despite this, Syed still found himself staring that little bit too much, for that little bit too long.

"What d'you think I've been doing for the last hour?!" Syed laughed, prodding Christian in the ribs, feeling that same electricity that had run through him the first time they'd met. The training sessions had been so easy with Christian, and Syed had felt himself starting to open up to him more than he'd ever opened up before, even with Kaden.

"Come on, once more, and then I'll set you free!" Christian laughed with him, getting down onto his knees and gesturing for Syed to join him. Syed smiled, shook his head once and plonked himself down next to Christian, lying down flat on his back, preparing to feel that electrifying connection once more. As Christian climbed on top of him, essentially straddling his hips, Syed struggled to remain in control. Being with him, like this, was something he'd fantasised so many times, he had to remind himself that this was purely professional for Christian; Syed was nothing more than a client to him. As Christian gently cupped his throat, Syed took a deep breath and forced himself to concentrate. He hooked onto Christian's wrist like he'd shown him, gripping behind his elbow with his other hand, pulling his arm down and trapping it to his chest. _Just where he should be, Syed thought. _He then used his foot to trap Christian's leg, feeling his groin rub against the part of Christian it most wanted to touch, and held his breath to retain his control. In one smooth motion, he urged his hips to move, feeling the exquisite feeling intensify, and took a breath. _Why fight it? He thought to himself. Why should I fight this feeling? _Before he could stop himself, Syed lifted his hips just that little bit more than he had allowed himself to do previously, and felt the momentum carry him over almost effortlessly. Before he knew what had happened, he found himself on top of Christian, straddling him and looking down into those irresistible green eyes. Letting his gaze linger that little bit too long, Syed sprang to his feet before he lost control completely and jumped him there and then.

"Told ya you could do it!" Christian was positively beaming when he jumped to his feet next to Syed. "You just needed that little bit more confidence!" Christian slapped him on the back in a 'well done' gesture, but did his hand linger a second longer than it should have? Or was Syed just imagining it, or wishing it?

c~s

Once they'd showered and changed, and Syed had waited for Christian to lock up, they walked together towards the Tube.

"So, any plans for this evening?" It was a polite enough question, small talk, really, but something about the way Christian had said the words had Syed wondering if what he was feeling really was just one sided.

"Not really, microwave meal for one!" Syed sighed inwardly as he said it. It sounded as pathetic out loud as it did in his head, if not more so. "How about you?" Syed almost regretted the question, almost certain that, whatever Christian was doing tonight, he'd not be doing it alone.

"Actually, as pathetic as it sounds, I'm in the same boat!" Christian laughed, nudging Syed playfully with his hip.

"Gee, thanks!" Syed rolled his eyes sarcastically, but couldn't keep the huge grin from his face. Sounded like his saviour was single after all!

"Listen, I might be way out of line here, and I might be blurring that line between private and professional way too much, but would you like to grab dinner? Save a sad old Queen from his pathetic fate?" Christian laughed, and Syed laughed with him. His laugh was infectious.

"I'd love to," Syed replied, probably quicker than he should have done. "And, for what it's worth, I don't think you're a 'sad old Queen'."

"Come on," Christian linked his arm through Syed's, pulling him in the opposite direction. "I know this great little place down by the river."

c~s

"So, how come you're suddenly in the meal-for-one club?" Christian asked Syed once they were tucking into their dinner. "Last I heard, you were all loved up."

Syed looked down at his pasta dish, more to avoid Christian's probing stare than anything. "Oh, you know how it is. One minute you're all loved up, the next minute, you're alone again." Syed's mind was screaming at him to open up to Christian, to tell him the truth, but he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. He barely even knew the man. But then, why did this feel so easy, so right?

Christian nodded his understanding. "Yeah, I've been there," he managed to catch Syed's eye, and Syed found himself powerless to look away. "But, for what it's worth, any man who let's you go is a bloody fool!"

c~s

They finished dinner on safer ground, steered mostly by Syed. He asked about the house Christian was building, where he was living at the moment, how well the gym seemed to be doing, anything other than Syed. Christian, on the other hand, seemed only too willing to steer the conversation into what Syed could only class as 'dangerous territory'. He was dangerously close to letting Christian in on his secret, and he could feel himself falling more and more the more time they spent together.

As Christian walked him home, claiming to currently live only a short distance from where Syed was staying until the other house was finished, Syed could barely stop himself from reaching out and grabbing Christian's hand. Only by persuading his heart that it was still mending, had he been able to stop himself.

"So, this is me," Syed reluctantly came to a stop outside of his building. The silence which lingered wasn't uncomfortable; both men just seemed reluctant for the night to come to an end. "So I guess I'll see you next week?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Christian met Syed's eyes, getting lost in their brown depths. "Listen, why don't I call you later on in the week? The house is coming along nicely, and I'd love for you to see it. You're the one who made it happen, after all."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Syed replied, holding onto Christian's gaze with every fibre of his being.

"Well, goodnight Sy. Thanks for this evening."

"Night Christian," Syed held out his hand to Christian, who completely ignored the gesture and enveloped Syed into a hug. Syed tentatively wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him back, feeling his heart soar with happiness.

"Well, isn't this cosy?" A voice from Syed's not so distant past brought him crashing back down to reality. As he reluctantly broke out of Christian's embrace, Syed found himself looking straight into the eyes of his tormentor.

Kaden had found him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Syed or Christian. Any recognizable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

* * *

><p>As Syed reluctantly broke out of Christian's embrace, as difficult as it was for him to leave those protective arms, he felt his world slowly start to crumble. How had Kaden found him? And, more importantly, what was he going to do to him now that he had? He was drunk; that much was obvious. And that was never a good sign.<p>

"Kaden..." Syed's voice was barely a whisper, and he could feel his pulse starting to quicken. He just had to hold it together for a few more seconds, until he could get away from both Kaden and Christian, and could break down in private. "What -"

"Am I doing here?" Kaden finished his sentence for him, laughing his cold, bitter laugh. "Well, considering that you left me without so much as a note, I'd say I'm the one who should be asking the questions, wouldn't you?"

"Sy, what's going on?" Christian's voice broke through Syed's terrified mind and grounded him, pulling him back to the present. He had to get out of here, away from Kaden. Now that he knew where Syed was living, Syed knew that Kaden would never give up. He'd always be there, haunting him, tormenting him. He had to get away from this flat, and from Kaden, and so he did the only think he could think of. He gently cupped Christian's face and kissed him. The second their lips met, Syed felt like he was home. To his surprise - and, he realised, to his relief - Christian kissed him back.

"Nothing's going on," Syed told him, once they had parted. "Let's just go home." _Please, _Syed begged him with his eyes, _play along, Christian. _Syed slipped his hand into Christian's and held it tightly, gently pulling him away from Kaden. As he made to walk away from Kaden, planning to hail a cab, Syed felt Kaden's hand grab his shoulder and wrench him away from Christian, breaking their grasp. Kaden placed his hands on each of Syed's arms, effectively locking him in place in front of him.

"Don't you dare walk away from me, Syed Masood!" Kaden yelled at him. Syed felt himself attempting to cringe away from him, but failing due to the tight grip Kaden had on him. "We're not done, you and me. I deserve an answer!"

"You're hurting me!" Syed heard himself saying, inwardly cringing at how pathetic he sounded.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Christian was stepping in now, coming to Syed's aid.

"Fuck off, this has nothing to do with you!" Kaden still hadn't taken his eyes off Syed, while Syed was desperately looking at Christian, no doubt with fear shining in his eyes.

"The hell it hasn't!" Christian was squaring up to Kaden, tearing his eyes away from Syed's terrified gaze to concentrate his attention on his target. As he looked into the face of Syed's ex, Christian felt a surge of hatred towards him. He hated the fact that this man had ever been intimate with Syed; hated that they had touched, kissed, made love. But, most of all, Christian hated the fact that he had obviously done something to hurt Syed in the past. Concentrating on his hatred, Christian balled his hand into a fist and slammed it into the side of Kaden's head without any hesitation. Kaden recoiled in surprise, letting go of Syed in his confusion. Christian placed himself in between Syed and Kaden, squaring up to Kaden again when he'd staggered back to his feet. "Stay away from Syed, stay away from me." Christian punched him once more, for good measure, and spat at his feet before taking Syed's hand and leading him away, hailing a passing cab and ushering Syed inside, slinding in beside him without glancing back.

c~s

Syed was sitting on Christian's sofa, still shaken from their encounter with Kaden. Christian had managed to calm him slightly, and was now sitting on the opposite end of the sofa, unsure of how close Syed would want him. They had sat in silence for a while, but now Christian just had to know.

"What was that, Sy?"

Syed sighed. He had hoped that he would be able to keep his past from interfering with his future, from Christian, but he should have known that it would catch up with him eventually. "Let's just say that Kaden and I didn't exactly part on the best of terms. Actually, I -"

"I didn't mean with Kaden," Christian had spoken so quietly that at first Syed doubted that he had even said anything. "I meant what happened with us."

Syed had bern dreading this part. When Kaden had shown up, he had been so concerned with getting away from him that he hadn't really thought about the consequences of his actions, let alone how his actions might make Christian feel. "I'm so sorry, Christian. I just wanted to get away from Kaden, I wasn't thinking. Listen, just forget it, yeah?"

Christian scooted closer to Syed, taking Syed's hand in his and grasping it to his chest. "What if I can't forget it?" Christian looked deep into Syed's eyes, and saw his own want and need echoed back at him. "What if I don't want to forget it?" Before Syed could say or do anything, Christian pulled him closer still and kissed him hard.

Syed responded to him immediately, losing himself in the kiss, all thoughts and fears of Kaden instantly forgotten. He deepened the kiss, his probing tongue met step for step by Christian's, both of them searching, exploring. It was Syed who reluctantly broke the kiss, gasping for air. "You mind if I stay the night? I don't wanna risk bumping into Kaden again."

Christian pulled Syed onto his lap, pecking his lips. "If you think I'm letting you go anywhere near him, you've got another thing coming!" He laughed, locking Syed's arms around his neck and standing, effectively carrying Syed into his bedroom and setting him down on the edge of the bed. "We don't have to do anything," Christian reassured him. "I just want to know you're safe." Christian pecked his lips once more before stripping down to his boxers and t-shirt and climbing into his bed, eagerly watching Syed doing the same. It was past midnight now, and the confrontation with Kaden had clearly taken it out of Syed, so Christian pulled Syed against his chest and stroked his hair until unconsciousness pulled him under. They could talk in the morning, Christian decided, just before he felt himself starting to fall asleep, Syed's eyes staring at him in his mind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)  
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**Rating: M**

**Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Christian or Syed. All recognisable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

* * *

><p>As Syed's eyes flickered open, it took him a second to register where he was. He could feel an arm draped over his torso, and for a split second, he panicked. Kaden had finally found him; was he trapped once again in the life he'd tried so hard to leave behind? A moment later, the arm draped over his torso tightened slightly, and a voice murmured "Sy..". Syed let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding, and it all came flooding back to him. He turned slightly, careful not to wake the sleeping form of Christian beside him. Even in sleep, he was beautiful. Christian, his saviour.<p>

Syed jumped slightly as his stomach growled, disturbing the peaceful silence which he had been enjoying. Realising just how hungry he was, Syed carefully moved Christian's arm and eased himself out of the bed. As he padded around the unfamiliar flat, Syed already felt more at home than he'd ever been in his life. He almost felt as if he belonged inside those four walls, as if this was where he was meant to be all along.

At the beginning of his relationship with Kaden, Syed had, wrongly, thought that he had found his place in the world, unaware that he'd chosen one of the most dangerous people to place his trust in. But being here, now, in a home which wasn't his, Syed felt as though he was a blind man seeing for the first time. If he was really honest with himself, he'd never _really _been attracted to Kaden. Not physically, at least. The attraction had been circumstantial, really. Kaden was the first one to accept him for who he was, the only one who hadn't pushed him away when he'd finally admitted the truth to everyone, including himself. With Christian, it was different. The attraction had been physical to start with, but somehow, Syed had known that what had drawn him to Christian so much was something much more powerful. Somehow, before anything had happened between them, Syed had felt a connection with him so deep, that it had taken his breath away. He'd never been one to believe in soul mates and destiny, but as soon as he'd laid eyes on Christian, all that had changed. They were _meant _to be together.

Making his way into the kitchen, Syed started opening cupboards, pulling out various items and utensils, until he was happy that he would be able to make a decent breakfast. Almost as if he was on autopilot, he seemed to be able to predict where Christian would keep everything. As he started up the coffee machine, chuckling to himself at Christian's predictable Americanised habit, he turned the radio on low, and soon found himself moving to the music as he cooked, feeling, for the first time in months, relaxed and free.

c~s

As Christian stirred slightly, he stretched an arm out and smiled, sighing contentedly, until his open palm landed on the still-warm sheet where Syed had lain. He sat up with a start, rubbing the corners of his still-tired eyes, instantly alert. He couldn't be gone, not now, after everything. They'd had such a wonderful time last night, until Syed's ex had showed up and ruined everything. Christian thought back on how Syed had reacted when Kaden had shown up, how lost and afraid he'd seemed. All Christian had wanted to do was to sweep Syed up into his arms and protect him from this man, this Kaden, who had hurt Syed in some way.

Christian closed his eyes and let his head flop back onto his pillow. He'd been so stupid, forcing Syed to sleep in his bed. But no, he couldn't be the bigger man, the person Syed had needed him to be. He couldn't offer Syed the bed while he slept on the sofa. He couldn't give him the time and space that he obviously so desperately wanted and needed. No, Christian was too stubborn and pig-headed to do anything like that. He'd wanted so much to just _be near _him, that now, he'd driven him away for good.

How long he'd lain there, in his own misery, Christian couldn't have said. He lay there, with his head buried in the pillow Syed had slept on, drinking in his scent, replaying the scenes of the previous night in his head. He ran through their perfect dinner, and the walk home afterwards. How desperately he'd wanted to hold Syed's hand, but how he'd held back. How he'd felt when Syed had kissed him, both in front of Kaden and here, in Christian's flat. The hatred he'd felt for Kaden, knowing that he'd hurt Syed. Back to that mind-blowing kiss that they'd shared, just in the next room. Syed _asking _if he could stay the night -

Christian shook his head and laughed, instantly feeling like an idiot. _Of course _Syed hadn't done a runner. He climbed out of bed, still feeling the idiot, and made his way through the flat. No doubt Syed had to work this morning, and he'd find a little note in the kitchen or in the living room, explaining just that to him. Then he'd call Syed later, and they'd go for lunch, and they'd talk about last night, and Kaden, and -

Christian's thoughts were stopped in their tracks as the familiar, delightful smell of coffee and bacon drifted out of the kitchen to greet him. Turning the corner, he glimpsed Syed hard at work through the open doorway, still dressed in only his boxers and t-shirt. He let out a sigh of relief he didn't realise he'd been holding. Syed was still here! Leaning against the door frame, Christian drank in the sight before him. Syed looked so comfortable, somehow already knowing where Christian kept things in the kitchen, dancing along to the music on the radio he looked like he belonged here.

"Well, looks like someone's in a good mood this morning!" Christian let out a deep, booming laugh, unable to hide his presence from Syed for a moment longer.

"Christian! You almost gave me a heart attack!" Syed had almost dropped the pan he was holding in fright, and was now clinging to the worktop as if his life depended on it.

"Sorry," Christian chuckled, pouring himself a coffee before turning to smile at Syed. When he did turn to the other man, Christian could see the fear shining in his eyes, and immediately enveloped Syed in his arms. "Sy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." His words were gentle, soothing. The other man was trembling in his arms, and Christian could have kicked himself for being so stupid. "I just didn't think." Seeing Syed looking so happy and carefree this morning had completely wiped the memory of the look of terror on his face last night from Christian's mind.

Reluctantly releasing Syed from his arms, Christian went to work finishing the task that Syed had started, and plated up the breakfast which had been so lovingly made for him, ensuring not to put any bacon onto Syed's egg bap. Balancing both plates expertly in one hand, he took Syed's hand in the other and led him through to the living room, depositing the plates on the coffee table and sitting down on the sofa next to Syed.

"Sy, tell me everything."


End file.
